


The Chimera From the Egg

by tainry



Category: Slayers (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Fairy Tale Retellings, M/M, Silly, fairy tale AU, some mild breaking of the 4th wall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 14:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6082629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tainry/pseuds/tainry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gourry sets out to find a spouse. Hilarity ensues. Retelling of "The Maiden From the Egg".</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Chimera From the Egg

A young man once went searching for a wife, not liking any of the maidens of his village. His grandmother stood on a chair to pat his head and sent a care package with him - plenty of extra socks, dear!

Into the Deep Dark Forest he went - but this is Gourry we're talking about; soon he was faint with hunger and parched with thirst. He climbed a tree, looking for birds' nests. In one nest he found three eggs, and climbed down carefully with them to eat. He was more than a little surprised, and, since this is after all a yaoi list, disappointed, when he broke open the first egg [come on, don't squick now, this is a fairy tale, remember; and people who are very hungry will indeed eat just about anything] and out sprang a lovely maiden.

"Give me water," she said, "and I will be yours and you will be mine."

Okay, we just established, Gourry didn't have any water. Plenty of socks, sure, water? Nope. The maiden disappeared. The List sighed in relief. Second egg, same story - maiden even more beautiful this time.

"Give me water, and I will be yours and you will be mine."

Still out of luck re the water situation. But see, Gourry, being the kind hearted sweetie we all know he is, started to get concerned about these egg-maidens. What if they were even thirstier than he was? That would suck! So, learning curve being what it is, he finally figured it out and ran off to find water before opening the third egg. 

Now I don't know what a well was doing in the middle of a freakin' forest, but there it was! Yay! Gourry pulled a goblet out of nowhere [neat trick] and filled it, then and only then opening the last egg.

This time, from the egg appeared a young man, fair as twilight; with elven face and ears, silvery hair, skin of fine, shining stone. "Give me water," said the chimera, "and I will be yours and you will be mine."

"Yoshaa!" said Gourry, and passed the cup.

Zel [of course Zel!] drank, then said, "Now I am yours and you are mine."

This was great, but Gourry was worried; he didn't want Zel to have to walk all the way back to Gourry's village. Nevermind that Zel could Ray Wing them both there in nothing flat, but this is what happens in the story, okay? "If you wait here I'll fetch a carriage to bring you home with," Gourry said, and dashed off. Zel agreed and admired the view.

After a bit, a witch and her hideous daughter came by, as often happens. "So, Zel!" Eris said. "What are you doing here, you wretched traitor?"

Zel curled his lip and answered, "I'm waiting for my husband to come back with a carriage so we can go back to his village and have mad, passionate, monkey-jungle sex."

"That's what you think!" Eris snatched off Zel's golden raiment [the List whipped out their camcorders] and put it on her daughter, Mazenda. "It will be my daughter your husband takes home, not you!"

Zel leapt into the well, turned himself into a fish [good thing since he can't swim otherwise] and swam away. Eris told Mazenda what to say when Gourry returned, and left.

Some time later, Gourry returned and was a bit shocked. "Hey, you were a boy, before!"

"Well," said Mazenda, "You left me out here so long, in the sun; I changed."

Gourry blinked. "You didn't happen to visit a place called Jusenkyo, did you?"

Making another leap of suspension of disbelief, Gourry took Mazenda home. His grandmother was horrified. "That's a Mazoku, Jellyfish-boy! What were you thinking??"

Gourry felt he'd made a sort of promise, though, so he married Mazenda, [in name only, let's be clear about this!] and let her stay indoors, thinking she'd change back into a he. Mazenda, failing to return to a masculine state, pretended to be terribly ill. "Only one thing can cure me and restore my beauty," Mazenda said. "A magic fish lives in the well where I waited for you. If I eat it I'll turn back into a boy...you weirdo..."

Gourry hastened back to the well [can we blame him?], emptied it of water, caught the only fish there - a lovely fish of unusual colors and metallic shininess - and brought it back to his wife. Mazenda ate the fish with relish [and tartar sauce, singing 'Le poisson, le poisson...!'] and tossed the bones into the courtyard. But she remained female and icky.

The next day a duck [you can suppose this is Mousse, if you want] from the neighbor's place wandered over and spied the fish bones in the courtyard, gobbling them all up. Ew. Er, anyway, the duck went home, and the next day grew golden feathers. The duck's owner, Lina, was kinda surprised by this, but also pleased. She plucked the golden quills and put them in a pot. [Think cauldron here, not Maui Wowie, kids!] Then she went out to clobber bandits and dragons, as was her wont. When she came home, she found that someone had eaten her dinner! All of it! This is serious! But there was no one there. The next day the same thing happened. On the third day, though, Lina just pretended to go out bandit-slaughtering, and peeked in through a window to see who was swiping her hard-earned grub. The feathers began to glow, and from them Zel appeared. Lina dashed in and smacked him upside the head. "That's MY DINNER there, buster!" Then she danced around the house, clutching her throbbing hand. "Ite te te te te te!!!" Nevertheless, this freed the chimera.

More amused than anything else, Zel stayed with Lina for a while, helping her out with the yardwork and occasional bandit-whomping. Now as it happens, Lina was also working with her next-door neighbor, Gourry's grandmother, tending the fields and whatever, between bouts of Mazoku-stomping and world-saving. One day Zel asked to take Lina's place in going over there.

"Uh, Zel, but if you go over there, Gourry will take one look at you and want to keep you forever." Lina kind of liked having intelligent company.

"Then I'll wear dirty, old clothes and he won't even take a first look at me, let alone a second," Zel said, smiling a little.

"Yeah, right, as if," Lina muttered. But she agreed.

Zel dressed in rags [we can hope for strategically and artistically placed rents and tears...drool...] and went next door.

When he walked in, Gourry glanced at him, then did a classic double-take. Okay, not much of a disguise, you realize, plus, I mean, wouldn't you? It's the ears, Zel, they kind of...stand out... ::muffled giggles:: Gourry recognized him, thought for rather a long time - give him a while, he'll get it eventually - then asked the others all to tell a story to pass the time. I dunno, maybe they were peeling potatoes or shelling peas or something. Mazenda told a tale, then Grandmother, but when it came Zel's turn he just said, "I don't have any stories, only a dream."

"That's okay," Gourry said softly, his eyes glowing deep. "A dream is fine with me."

So the chimera from the egg began, "Once I dreamed of a young man who did not like any of the maidens of his village. So he went looking for a mate elsewhere. As he walked in the forest, he found a bird's nest with three eggs. When he broke open the first egg, a maiden appeared..."

Mazenda started to pace. "What's up with all this storytelling! Gourry-sama, why don't you go up to bed and have a little rest?"

"I want to hear his story," Gourry said. 

So Zel continued about the three eggs and their contents, and how the young man had offered the fair young chimera a goblet of water. "Then he went to fetch a carriage for his new husband. Here I woke up, so I don't know how the dream ended."

"Try to remember," Gourry urged, a low hum to his voice. Shivering slightly, Zel continued, telling how Eris had substituted her daughter for the new bride. Hearing this, Gourry seized Mazenda, on threat of the Hikari no Ken, and locked her in a Mazoku-proof room. [This could happen...Gourry's family is a long line of Mazoku-bane, after all...] He went out and found Eris.

He asked her, "What do you think of a person who steals a man's husband, tries to kill him, and substitutes a hideous toad in his place?"

Eris must have been thinking about something else at the time, because she answered, "Why, such a person should be shut up in a barrel full of nails and thrown from the highest mountain! And the false wife, too!"

So that's just what Gourry did. Then he married his true husband and the two lived happily for the rest of their days, making mad, passionate, monkey-jungle love with supernatural frequency.


End file.
